Closed
by Tri17
Summary: FE6 ClarinexRutger She watched him from afar, hoping one day, she'd finally get the chance to see his true self, the person he hid from everyone else. The one who wasn't the revenge seeking, unemotional man. And Clarine might just get that chance.


Another oneshot! This one is much more recently written, so I personally think it's much better than the last ClarinexRutger oneshot I posted.

This story does take place after Clarine and Rutger have had an A support (Clarine mentions later on in the story about how he wants her to make him laugh, which Rutger tells her to in their A support.) All information about Rutger's past is taken most from his and Dieck's support conversations. It does mention later about Rutger having siblings, which I added in, since he was in a clan (I'm sure his parents could have had more kids than just him).

Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem or its characters.

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**Closed**

Tri17

She would watch from a distance, never wanting to be seen. She knew that he probably knew she was there, but it didn't stop her. Merely watching from a distance was good enough for her. It was the only time that she could really get close to him emotionally. On the battlefield, there were no emotions. He was closed off to the world and to her. That wouldn't stop her, though. She was a stubborn girl and his stony silence would not deter her from trying to pry him open.

But nothing worked. He was a closed off man with a hidden past, besides revenge against Bern. She had certainly heard rumors about his entire clan being killed by Bern and him being spared because of the way he looked, but Clarine couldn't be sure about that. He had, after all, never told her that. Dieck had often told her not to even bother trying to get involved with him. He was another type of person, another type of man that was way beyond her immature mind and comprehension.

That, though, had only fueled her fire. Clarine was a well educated girl. Surprisingly enough, throughout private lessons in Etruria, she excelled in everything (besides singing. She had, dreadfully, inherited her mother's voice) especially magic and other book work. She could speak the ancient language fluently, and knew the history of Elibe as well as her father did. She could dance and serve tea properly; could write and read better than many in the Etrurian Nobility (only her father could read and write better than her); she had excelled with a staff and a horse, much more so than her father ever did, or her mother and brother; and not only that, but Clarine was a perfectionist. Her grades were always the best of the best when compared to the other Etrurian ladies. She was an intelligent girl.

Not only that but she was used to getting what she wanted. Her hard work throughout her life in schooling had made it so she was often rewarded for it. Her father would always reward her if she had done well. And her mother was always pleased to buy her new dresses or accessories, merely because she had never gotten the chance to with Klein. When her father would not buy her what she wanted, Clarine would ask her mother. And if her mother wouldn't, she'd buy it herself, even if that meant selling old things she no longer used. She always got what she wanted. Rutger would be no exception, Clarine thought.

He was more difficult to obtain than anything else in her entire life, though. They worked hours after hours on the battlefield together, but yet, once the battle was over, not one word was ever spoken to her from him. It frustrated her beyond belief! She used to follow him around, talking to him endlessly, annoying him until he would send her away. Now, she admired him from a distance. He never spoke with anyone except a select few. As in Dieck and Fir. And for all she could tell, he had no real tolerance for Fir.

As for herself... Clarine had yet to figure out his reaction to her. He was always annoyed with her at first but... he told her to make him laugh. He told her not to cry. He apologized to her! He never apologized to anyone. If only he would tell her everything. Clarine merely wanted to hear everything and fix it.

But he wouldn't. He was closed to her. Which was the reason she watched him from afar, through the trees, spying on his training. He moved so skillfully, gracefully. It was the only time that she could spy the true feelings of him. If he was saddened, he would move slower, heavier. If he was angry, his slashes were violent and quick. If he was at peace, he moved fluidly, melting in with the air. Sometimes, she thought he had forgotten she was there, which was why he let down his guard. She could see his emotions on his face, especially when he was sad. No, not really sad. More like tortured.

This was the only time she could get close to his real self. The only time she could ever see what was in his mind. She loved these times because she felt as if he was letting her see his emotions. He might be letting her in.

It was during this time that she watched as he drew his blade. He stumbled, though, and the blade slipped, slashing his hand deeply, causing him to slide to the ground. Seeing his crimson blood stain the blade, his small grimace, caused Clarine to react without thinking. She rushed towards him, feeling only the same instinct she felt whenever she saw him injured. She needed to heal him; protect him. Her staff was already glowing with magic when she reached his side. Rutger said nothing to her, as she healed his hand. Once the wound had healed, she tenderly held it, checking to make sure there wasn't a scratch left.

His hands were rough and calloused. Strong but marred with scars. Even if he did wear gloves, weapons easily tore through the cloth. It brought tears to her eyes as she studied his hand. This, she realized, was the closest she had ever really been to him. He would never allow her to examine him after he had been injured. It was enough, he had told her before, for her to merely heal him with a staff.

She finally looked up to his face, aghast when she saw the dark circles that lined his eyes. He was worn and tired. He had a nightmarish look about him, as if he had not had rest in a long time.

"W..." the words were dying on her lips, but she needed to talk to him. Maybe she could pry him open just a bit more. He seemed to trust her. After all, he had yet to remove his hand from hers. "Why can't you sleep?" her tone of voice was gentle, caring, comforting. She wanted to know because she wanted to help him. She wanted to heal him, just like she had always done for the past several months.

"..." he said nothing and Clarine could quickly see him retreating away from her. She needed him to open up to her! She needed him...

"Please... I only want to help." Swallowing, she wrapped her arms around his head, hugging him. He tensed, but within a few moments, instead of pushing her away as she had feared, he leaned into her embrace, his head resting on her chest.

"Nightmares," he finally responded hoarsely. Clarine gingerly stroked his hair, the two of them sitting on the ground.

"Of what?" she whispered, closing her eyes. He adjusted himself to where his head was laying in her lap. She continued to stroke his head, playing with his hair.

"My clan."

"What happened...? Please... tell me." Rutger didn't respond and Clarine was so sure he was closing back up on her again. She just knew that soon enough he would stand up and leave her.

"They were killed. My entire clan slaughtered in front of my eyes. I could do nothing. They protected me, my parents. My friends, my family. Those I knew and loved, cut down in front of me like... like wheat. And I couldn't do anything. Their screams... oh... They were agonizing, all of them, not being able to lift a finger as Bern slaughtered every Sacaen-looking person there. I... I was spared, though. I'm mixed... Bern and Sacaen. But... I look more like someone from Bern, which was so odd. All of my siblings took after the Sacaen side and I was the only one to have the Bern blood come out. I... I was spared... My little sister... my baby brother... everyone cut down in front of me." Clarine couldn't imagine the pain he felt. She couldn't imagine how she would feel if she saw her parents and her brother cut down before her eyes. It was a feeling that she could never comprehend because it had never happened.

"Rutger... I..." She couldn't offer condolences because she didn't understand his pain and she knew he would not like her pity. It would close him off to her, again. "Sleep," she finally said, realizing that was the only thing that could keep him here with her. "I'll keep the nightmares away."

"How can you do that? They never go away..."

"They will," Clarine told him, fully assured that he would not dream of a single bad thing. She would not let that happen to him.

He didn't fall asleep at first, so Clarine decided to lull him to sleep by talking to him. They were simple, old stories of her family. Of Klein, the prince, her father, and mother. She wanted him to know these things, she wanted him to relax, she wanted him to feel safe with her.

"Klein was never interested in studying, like I was. He spent all his free time with his bow and my mother. Surprisingly enough, I was always closer to my father because of our similar interests. I worked hard at magic, trying to please my father, while Klein worked hard at his archery, though I don't think it was to please my mother. My mother was always pleased no matter what we did." Clarine listened to his even, deep breaths, and knew she had finally gotten him to sleep.

Her hand still stroked his head, as she watched his worn face relax. For the first time, Clarine saw his face get a peaceful expression on it. He was perfectly relaxed.

The tears that sprung to her eyes were not of sadness but of happiness. Rutger really did trust her. He would never have relaxed and actually agreed to sleep on someone else. Clarine was the only one who had ever had this privilege. He trusted her.

She saw his face begin to tense up, making Clarine realize that he was having another nightmare. She touched his face, softly speaking.

"Everything is alright, Rutger. Don't think about it. Think about me," she whispered, gently stroking his face, trying to smooth out the hard lines that had appeared. Her touch seemed to calm him down as the lines smoothed out and he relaxed once more.

She would protect him from everything, Clarine vowed.

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When Rutger finally woke up, he saw the face of Clarine. She was staring off into a distance, still stroking his face. Grunting slightly, he blinked, trying to figure out why everything had turned so dim. The sky was a deep red, a dark blue already beginning to come out, bright stars following. It was sunset.

Clarine looked down at him, as well as stopping her stroking.

"Did you sleep good?" she asked, smiling kindly. Rutger nodded. For once, he really had slept good. The last time he had slept like that was when his clan was still around. Before the Bern troops ever came to Bulgar. "I'm glad," Clarine told him.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Many hours. The sun hadn't even reached high in the sky when you slashed your hand. It was still late morning. It's almost night now."

"You sat here with me this entire time?" Rutger was surprised. He had expected to wake up and find her long gone.

"I promised you I would. I... I don't just want to make you laugh, Rutger. I want to make you smile. I want to make you happy. I want to protect you and care for you. I want to always be there to calm you down when you have a nightmare. I want to always heal your wounds so you never get another scar again." She rubbed her fingers over his scarred hands when saying this. "I want to always be by your side, always there. I want you to trust me." She couldn't look him in the eye when she said this. All she could do was stroke his hand, memorizing every scar, every callus, every groove in his hand.

She didn't want to see his reaction. She was too scared. What if his eyes were back to that guarded, bitter, angry look? What if this was the only time he would have opened up to her. What if he was now closed up to her?

"Clarine." Clarine cautiously raised her violet eyes to his deep brown ones, scared of what she would see. His eyes, though, surprised her. They were not guarded. His emotions were open for her to look at. "I do trust you," he told her gently.

"But... you never talk to me..." Rutger nodded.

"We work hours after hours on the battlefield. I have to trust you. And I do. You're always there behind me. Always ready to help me; to heal me."

"...You trust me?" Clarine asked him, her fingers interlocking with his.

"Yes." She smiled at him, a small smile, while she looked down at their interlocked hands.

"Will you trust me to always be there for you?" Clarine shook her head. "No... Will you always believe in me to be there for you? To always be by your side? To always keep the nightmares away? To protect you?" Clarine looked at him with pleading eyes.

"I can't say what the future holds, at least after this war. But for now..." he trailed off, staring off into the sky. Clarine didn't pressure him to answer her questions. She figured she understood what he was trying to say. That he would allow her to be beside him if she so chose to. That he would welcome her, even if it seemed like he didn't. That he couldn't open up around her when they were around others. That only she could see what he really was like. That he would always remain closed around others, no matter what she did.

But it also meant that he trusted her. That he had opened himself up to her and had let her in.

To Clarine, that was the best thing he could do for her. The best thing she could ever wish for.

Taking his hand in hers, she squeezed it slightly, tenderly, and smiled at him.

"I understand," she told him, her eyes shining with happiness. "And I always will be here. No matter what. I'm always going to be here for you, Rutger." He nodded and she could tell he was closing up on her again. Their special, tender moment was almost over.

So before he completely closed on her, she did one final thing to make the memory forever etched in her mind. She leaned over, gently pressing her lips against his. Her kiss was sweet and chaste; not one of passion or lust, but one of trust and love. It was her locking the key to him. It was her getting a part of him forever.

Breaking apart, she saw his eyes look at her tenderly, before he stood. He didn't offer to help her up, so she got up herself with no complaints. He was closed off again, locked tightly where no one could see who he truly was. What he truly was.

Smiling one last time at him, getting nothing but stony silence, Clarine walked away. She would be back later, they both knew, to find him. To help lure him to sleep, to keep away his nightmares. To hold him when he needed to rest. She would always be there with him, even if he had closed his feelings away from her again.

Because Clarine knew that she had the key to open him up. She had his trust and his love.

_**End

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Just a little bit of explanation, as I know it seems like Rutger might have been a bit out of character. Part of the reason he opened up so quickly to her is for one, he was tired and probably not thinking too much about keeping his secrets hidden from her (As he says, he does trust her). Another reason was that, despite the fact that he didn't talk to her outside of battle, he always did know that she was spying on him. Clarine had been spying on him for quite a while (possibly months) so I'm sure he would have gotten a bit more used to her seeing his emotions. The last fact is that they did work endlessly in battle next to each other. That's why I think Rutger would be quick to relax around her, merely because she is around him so much.

As for Clarine not being a snob... By their A support, Clarine seems to feel guilty for the way she was treating Rutger and seems to have a bit of a crush on him (like when she was crying in their B support after he yelled at her). To me, I think Clarine cares a whole lot about Rutger, especially if they worked beside each other often in battle.

Phew, I usually don't explain stuff like that. Anyways, if you still think the characters were OOC, please do tell me (and tell me why!) because I'd like to improve upon writing their characters and make them in character.

Well, thanks for reading!


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